


Dear Dr. Ackerman

by Melody_Of_The_River



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Academic!Levi, Fluff, Husbands, M/M, Married Couple, Slice of Life, Smut, academic au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 03:12:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melody_Of_The_River/pseuds/Melody_Of_The_River
Summary: Life in academia is hard. It is a machine that chews up youthful idealism with its endless stream of rejections, throws challenge after challenge until one goes emotionally bankrupt by the age of thirty. Sometimes you need someone to remind you why you need to keep going and of the dream you had as a student.





	Dear Dr. Ackerman

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my [@mnad96](https://mnad96.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for beta-ing!
> 
> Now with a FANTASTIC reading by [project-zorthania](https://project-zorthania.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, which can you can listen to [here](https://soundcloud.com/user-900569994/eruri-ficlet-melodyoftheriver-dear-dr-ackerman)!

Levi rolled over onto his side again, for the fifth time that night, kneeing Erwin in the fleshy skin of his thigh as he pressed his face in the man’s armpit.

“Erwin…” Levi whined.

The man huffed out an exasperated sigh.

“Erwin,” the man repeated, “Are you sleeping?”

“Yes,” he replied, his soft exhales tickling Levi’s forehead, “And so should you be.”

“I _am_ sleeping,” he snapped back.

“No. You’re not,” whispered Erwin, softly kissing the shell of Levi’s ear and folding his arms around the smaller man, “Your thoughts are so loud I can almost hear them. You need to let it go, love. We’ll find out tomorrow.”

Fifteen minutes passed. Erwin could hear Levi’s breathing get shallower, and that gentle sound against his chest was almost enough to lull him to sleep too. But just when he thought he’d finally managed to pacify the man for the night -

Levi wriggled out of the his embrace, turned around to his other side, and slightly pulled back his side of the covers. A cool draft hit Erwin’s calves, leaching the warmth from him. He groaned.

“Leviiii….” Erwin complained, cracking open an eyelid and enveloping the man tighter in his embrace when he felt him try to sit up, “Why are you so restless today?”

The muscles of Levi’s back were tense where they pressed up against Erwin’s bare chest, his exhales cool against the heavy forearm Erwin had pulled around the younger man’s shoulders.

“What if I don’t get it, Erwin?” Levi replied, his voice small and sheepish, a timid anxious murmur that Erwin wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear. But he did.

“Oh sweetheart,” Erwin mumbled against Levi’s naked shoulder, his right arm reaching over to clasp Levi’s hand in his own. It was sweaty, but Erwin didn’t mind. He rubbed soothing circles with his thumb over the back of Levi’s hand, and bent down to press a soft kiss at the base of the man’s undercut. In any other situation, the simple caress would have been enough to make Levi squirm with anticipation; he would straighten his neck, inviting Erwin to press more kisses to it. But right now, he squirmed in something entirely different. It wasn’t usual that Erwin got to see Levi worried much about anything at all, but the rare times that he had, he could not come to describe his little love by anything other than simply, “cute”.  Even now, with Levi tossing and turning in his agitated state, tense and jittery all over, Erwin couldn’t help but be the slightest bit amused.

“We’ve been over this already, Le-” Erwin argued, but Levi cut him off.

“I _know_ that, Erwin,” the irritation in his voice was back, “But my brain – it’s – ugh. I feel like I’m negotiating with a goddamned brick.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Erwin pulled him further inside his body, “Don’t say that.”

“I’m being unreasonable, I know that. You don’t need to say it.”

“That wasn’t what I was going to say, Lee. Please let me finish, love.”

Levi huffed against Erwin’s bulkier arm, unwillingly surrendering. “Yes. Alright. Well, go on, then.”

“Thank you,” Erwin replied, “What I was going to say was this: _if_ you do get it,” Levi’s back tensed again, and Erwin revised his statement, “I say ‘if’ not because I don’t believe in your capabilities, darling, you know I do. I say so because the acceptance rate is low and thus this becomes mostly a matter of chance and probability than skill.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Chance and probability," he huffed, "Isn't that like, your _thing_?”

Erwin chuckled behind Levi, spooning him closer, “Stop insulting me and listen, will you?” Erwin continued, “ _If_ you do get it, Levi, you know that no one will be more ecstatic about it than I would. Save, of course, for yourself.”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming-”

“ _But,”_ Erwin emphasized, “If you do not get it, it will certainly not be the end of the world. Not for you, and most certainly not for me, love,” Erwin turned Levi’s face towards himself; the man had been relentlessly worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. It appeared flush, pink and swollen, and Erwin soothed it with the only remedy he knew: pressing a soft closed-mouthed kiss to the bruised lip, a touch that made Levi’s eyes flutter shut, even despite his annoyed, impatient state. “This will not make me think any less of you, Levi. You know this.”

“The logical part of my brain does know that, Erwin,” Levi said as they parted, turning his frame around to face the taller man, “This is hardly the only research grant in the country. And of course, I know that if I don’t get this one, I can apply to a dozen others. And by your very estimates, I’m bound to get accepted to at least one. That-” Levi looked up into his eyes, “that isn’t the issue. This isn’t what’s going to help me stop worrying.”

“Baby-”

“No, Erwin. Don’t ‘ _baby’_ me,” Levi suddenly sat up in bed, “This is just something I need to get my head around, in my own way,” he pulled away and swung his legs off the bed.

Erwin was completely awake now. He already knew what Levi’s coping mechanism looked like. And honestly, he would much rather not see it again. He had seen it, during Levi’s final year of Masters, his Ph.D. dissertation, that one lecture conference at MIT, and maybe a handful of others, and every time it would be the same thing. He would pace around the hallways all night, muttering to himself like an unhinged maniac, cleaning random objects obsessively, and at the end of the night, as the sun came up, tired and exhausted, Erwin almost always found him curled up in a fetal position on one of the couches by the window. Stress and anxiety had a way of aggravating Levi’s cleaning compulsivity to almost unsafe heights. Erwin remembered one time, in the days when Levi was wringing his brains out trying to write the perfect defense for his external evaluation, when he had come home from work, to find Levi, his arm badly stuck behind one of the heavy oak bookcases in their study, trying to reach a small splinter that was poking out of one of the shelves at the back. Moving the bookcase was no big deal for Erwin; it was the sight of Levi’s bruised arms, splinters having scratched their way down to his knuckles, that really shook him.

Levi could try to reassure him all he wanted that he needed to cope with it ‘ _in his own way_ ’ but Erwin would be having none of it.

“Where are you going?” Erwin asked.

Levi didn’t even bother lying to him; they’d been together long enough that a lie really wouldn’t help his case at all. “I’m going to go read Reddit articles on why this grant is the best damn thing that has ever happened to physics and why I suck and don't hold a chance of getting it,” he mumbled truthfully.

“ _Levi_ ,” Erwin groaned again, extending the second syllable of his name in an almost child-like plead, “Don’t do that to yourself. Come back to bed, darling,” he said, reaching over for his lover’s body and hugging him from behind, preventing him from leaving.

“No, Erwin, you don’t understand. You’ve never been through this type of thing, alright? You work in the private sector. It’s not as harsh as academia. Academia is… a fucking shredder, okay? There’s no hope for anyone. So _please_ , do _not_ get my hopes up.”

“I’m not,” Erwin countered, “I’m being very reasonable. There’s a good solid chance of you getting it. You have as good a qualification for this research position as any doctorate in the country. Your thesis more than speaks for itself on your expertise in the subject,” he reasoned, “I doubt there’s any other applicant who wowed the interviewers as much as you did.”

“So says you,” Levi replied stubbornly.

Erwin sighed, “We’ve been over this already, sweetheart. And I know that you don’t actually think this about yourself. I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult. You were never this… insecure during your thesis. What’s the matter, love?”

“I don’t know – I just –”

Levi paused feeling Erwin hike up his undershirt where he was hugging him, and pressing small kisses to his sides and on the curve of his back. Levi huffed, annoyed.

“Just relax, Levi,” Erwin tried to mumble, continuing his ministrations against Levi’s skin.

“Whatever you’re trying to do,” Levi said apprehendingly, even as his body slowly betrayed him, “isn’t gonna work.”

“Let _me_ be the judge of that, darling.”

 

* * *

 

On Saturday, Levi slept through the time his decision was supposed to be released. Erwin smiled to himself at how well he’d managed to tire him out the night before; he could feel the result of last night’s slow unhurried lovemaking crust over between their chests. Still, Levi had not pulled away in disgust the way he usually did after such an ordeal. Instead, he had secured Erwin’s arms tightly around his sweaty body, slowly dozing off with his hand lying on the man’s chest, lightly stroking the soft skin, the glimmering silver band on his finger tickling his chest hair.

But despite how endearing Levi was the night before, Erwin knew the man would curse and frown if he woke up discovering dried cum on his chest. So, Erwin carefully dislodged himself from Levi’s lithe form, unentangling the limbs, and retrieved a warm washcloth from the bathroom.

Even after nearly seven years of blissful marriage, his darling, Levi was still quite a sight to behold. His raven black hair fanned lightly over the white cotton pillowcase, his perpetually furrowed brow, which in sleep belied the kind of dreams he must surely be having: of unremovable stains and unachievable doctorates. His pecs, smooth under Erwin’s warm touch, but also tough and well-built like the rest of Levi himself. His nipples, raw to the touch now, swollen by all Erwin had sucked on them earlier. The muscles of his abdomen, the hard ridges of it like fashioned from smooth marble.

And his cock. God, his cock. The glistening head when it was erect, the feel of its veins against the fleshy insides of Erwin’s mouth when he held him, the trail of pre-cum it left on his tongue when he bobbed his head up and down on it. His balls – how heavy and tight they felt right before he filled Erwin’s mouth with warm salty cum, which Erwin would happily swallow, lapping at his length through the aftershocks to induce more.

Erwin admired his husband as he ran the washcloth over his body, basking in the after-sex beauty of it. Sensing Erwin’s intentions, Levi rolled over onto his stomach. For a moment, Erwin thought that he had been caught in his appreciation, but Levi’s shallow breathing indicated that the man was still asleep. The sheet had skid further down his body, exposing Levi’s smooth round buttocks to Erwin’s hungry gaze. He ran the cloth down Levi’s back, over his round cheeks, and on the inside of his thighs. He moved the cloth between Levi's cheeks, slow and gentle, and pulled them apart to move his thumb lightly over the puckered flesh. Levi’s breath hitched and his hole gave way, wet and greedy, to Erwin’s warm prodding fingers.

“…. Enjoying yourself, Erwin?” he heard Levi ask from above, voice still lazy with sleep and sex.

Erwin _hmm_ -ed in affirmation, continuing his movements over the hole.

“Stop that,” Levi groaned, even as his legs instinctively spread wider, “You’re gonna give me a hard-on. And then we’ll be here all morning.”

“Would that be so bad?”

“Yes. I have work to do.”

“I don’t. It’s Saturday.”

Levi got up suddenly. “What time is it?” he asked.

Erwin kissed Levi’s spine and mumbled the answer into his skin.

“Erwin! Stop dicking around," he said, sterner this time, "What time is it?”

“Mm-hmm…”

“What?”

“One-thirty.”

“One-thirty!?” Levi sat up, swinging Erwin off of him and reaching for his nightgown on the chair beside the bed, “I cannot _believe_ you let me sleep in. And today, of all days!”

Levi made to get up but Erwin’s hold on him tightened, pulling the man back against the covers. “No,” he mumbled.

“Erwin! Let me go, you horny bastard! I need to check the –”

“Your decision was to be released at nine. Four and a half hours ago. And you’ve slept soundly through that, there is nothing you need to check before you at least have breakfast first. Half an hour more isn’t gonna make a difference. The email will still be there.”

“But Er –”

“No, Levi,” Erwin declared, rising up from the bed and picking up Levi’s phone before he could reach for it, “You need to eat. I’ll go make us something,” he said, pressing a final kiss to Levi’s brow and smiling at the scowl that covered his face, “I’ll be back before you know it,” he said, walking stark naked towards the bedroom door.

“…You’re just gonna walk around with that?” Levi grumbled from behind.

Erwin took one look at his own exposed lower-half, and then looked back at his scowling husband with a smirk. “Why, you want a round two?”

Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes. "As if you could manage, you old fart," he said, just barely keeping the amusement from his face.

"You wanna test that claim?" Erwin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tch," Levi clicked his tongue at him, "Don't burn anything," he said, sinking back on the pillows.

“Have a little faith, Levi,” Erwin replied, chuckling towards the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

He came back twenty minutes later with a tray full of French toast and two mugs, one with tea for Levi, and the other with coffee for him. Levi was sitting right where he left him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and nervously turning his silver wedding band around his ring finger. Erwin set the tray down on the bed and tutted away Levi’s protests with a soft kiss on his cheek. “Eat, Levi,” he said.

“They smell suspicious.”

“You’re not getting your phone back until you eat, Lee,” Erwin chuckled.

His husband pouted again and begrudgingly tore off a piece of French toast and put it in his mouth. “See? Fine, I’m eating," he mumbled through mouthfuls of toast, "Can you at least give me my phone back so we can check while we’re eating?”

Erwin took a sip of his coffee, considering the request. “Fine,” he grumbled, handing back the cell phone and settling back beneath the covers with his husband. As soon as he got his cellphone back, Levi forgot all about the toast and busied himself with the device. Erwin tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and pressed soothing thumbs at his temple. Levi opened his Gmail app and cleared his throat.

“Dear Dr. Ackerman,” Levi began; Erwin held his breath.

Pause.

“We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected.”

 

* * *

 

 Half an hour later, Erwin picked up his phone from where it was charging on the bedside table and dialed Hange’s number.

“ _HeyErwinWhat’sup?_ ” Hange greeted enthusiastically, with barely a pause for breath, “How’s the shorty? Still kicking ass and taking names?”

“Hey, Hange,” Erwin chuckled in reply, “We’re good. How are you?”

A loud clang went off on her end as if in answer to Erwin’s question, followed by sounds of broken glass being walked on. “…Hange?” Erwin inquired.

“Umm… yeah…”

“Is this a bad time? Are you at work today?”

“…no…”

_“Hange! What the fuck are you doing?”_

“Oh shit,” Hange said on the phone.

“Is that Moblit?”

More sounds of chaos and disorder followed.

_“I told you not to mix chemicals in the kitchen, goddammit! We eat here.”_

_“I was just curio-”_

_“Who is that on the phone?”_

_“…Erwin…”_

_“For fuck’s sake,”_ Moblit cursed _, “Give it here.”_

_“No, no, no, n-”_

Struggling. _“Give. It. Here.”_

“Hello?”

“Oh,” Erwin tried to suppress his amusement, “Oh hey, Moblit.”

“I’m really sorry about that…”

“Nothing to apologize for, my man. I’ve known Hange long enough now to know how insufferable she can be.”

“Right?” Moblit answered. _“He says you’re insufferable.”_

_“That fucking bastard…”_

“So, Erwin,” came Hange’s voice now, “Is there a reason you called this fine morning?”

“Umm… yes…” Erwin replied, a bit nervous now to be asking his friends for help regarding his husband, “It’s about Levi.”

“Oh oh oh, it was his decision date today, wasn’t it?” Hange replied cheerfully, “How did it go? What happened?”

“He… didn’t get it.”

“Oh, damn. I’m so sorry, Erwin,” Moblit said.

“It’s alright, really. He can apply again.”

“Yeah, but the rejection has got to be hard, right?”

“Yes, well… that’s, in fact, why I called you, Hange. He seems to be taking it really, really… _well_? He doesn’t seem very affected by it at all, when I know that this meant a great deal to him. I’m… well,” Erwin chuckled, “I’m afraid I'm a bit...confused?”

“Maybe that’s a good thing? That he’s coping with it that well?” Hange replied.

“Yeah, but he seemed so nervous yesterday. He couldn’t even sleep properly, he was so worried. I expected him to be more… I don’t know. Just less nonchalant, maybe.”

“Maybe he just needs time to process it,” Moblit said.

“Yeah, that could be it,” Hange added, “He’s like this, yknow. Levi – he’s stoic and he bottles it all up and likes to pretend he doesn’t care. When he’s actually just a big cissy.”

Erwin laughed despite himself, “Hey. That’s my husband you’re talking about.”

“Well, I never said it was a bad thing,” Hange countered, “He was just like this in high school too, Erwin. I remember he got rejected in senior year from a school he really wanted to go to. At first, he didn’t react much to the news. But he did get a bit sad for a while.”

“But then again, how is Levi-sad any different from Levi-okay?” Moblit asked.

“I dunno, he just curses less, okay? You can just feel it with Levi,” Hange replied, “Erwin, where is he now?”

“Taking a shower.”

“Hmm…” Hange considered, “I really don’t know what to tell you, Erwin. All I can say is keep an eye on him. Give him some time. He’ll come to you when he needs you.”

“Yes. I think you’re right, Hange,” Erwin said, “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, homie.”

 _“Homie?”_ he heard Moblit question, and Erwin smiled.

“Thanks for the help. Both of you. I think Levi’s getting out, I should check up on him.”

“Good luck!”

“Thanks. Talk to you later.”

“ _Well, Dr. Zoe. What a considerate friend you are…”_ Erwin heard before he hung up.

 

* * *

 

Hange had been Levi’s friend since the ninth grade, when the two of them had, much to Levi’s displeasure, been paired together as lab partners for Biology. “ _It was bad enough that I had to even take biology at all that year, and on top of that, I was paired with this lunatic_ ,” Levi had said. But by Erwin’s standards, it had turned out well enough at the end: a life-long friend over the carcass of a dissected frog. And despite Hange’s utterly chaotic personality in comparison to Levi’s, they were essentially the same in more respects than one: kind, caring, compassionate; the most loving people Erwin had ever met. He had met Hange maybe after a month of dating Levi, and her endearing eccentricities were quick to make their way into Erwin’s heart. She was one of their closest and most trusted friends now. Moblit, who had only been dating Hange for a year or so, was a relatively new addition to the group, that comprised of Levi and Hange, Mike and Nanaba (Erwin’s university friends) and himself. But already, he seemed like he had been part of it for years.

Levi and Hange had gone to university together, both of them majoring in Physics. But unlike Levi, Hange had been saved from the torturous path of academia thanks to her second major in Biochemistry, that had opened doors to all sorts of pharmaceutical companies and enterprises for her. His dear husband, on the other hand, had chosen the _only other field_ one could possibly choose to ensure complete and utter ostracization from practical work for life: Mathematics.

For Erwin, the academic career had never held much fascination. In fact, it seemed pretty pointless from his perspective, an endless race to get as many doctorates as one could grab before the age of forty and then, The Battle for Tenure. But his first date with Levi, he had smiled so brightly talking about particle physics and quantum mechanics, that it had completely flipped Erwin’s ‘perspective’ on its head, seeing the genuine passion in his husband’s eyes.

It had been a while since Erwin had seen that.

“Hey,” Erwin crooned in his ear as he hugged Levi from behind. He was covered in nothing but a loosely fastened towel and Erwin had half a mind to ease it off of his hips. But no, he had more important things to do. “Have a nice shower?”

“Yeah,” Levi replied, and Erwin checked his voice for signs of… something. It was neither worried and anxious like it had been last night, nor playful like it had been this morning. Erwin didn’t like not knowing.

“What’re you thinking?”

Levi huffed, “I’m thinking I’d like this blond giant off me so I can take out some comfortable clothes from the closet.”

 _No curses_ , Erwin noticed.

“Do you want to go some place nice today?” he asked, “It’s Saturday. And we’ve been planning a date night for so long.”

“Um, yeah. Sure,” Levi replied, taking out some soft black slacks and an old worn-out Nirvana t-shirt from the closet and shutting it. He eased Erwin’s arms from around himself, not completely, just enough to slip off the towel and bend down to awkwardly pull the slacks up his legs. Then he moved for the t-shirt; Erwin helped him put it on.

“Yeah? Where would you like to go?”

“I don’t know. Maybe… that ramen place near your office?”

“But we always get take-out from there. Don’t you wanna go anywhere fancy tonight? We only get to do this once a month or so.”

“Alright, well,” Levi considered, “how about that Italian place on 62nd street?”

“Hmm… yeah, that would be nice,” Erwin mused, “When do you want to go?”

“Around 6-ish?” Levi offered, “It’s only three p.m. right now.”

Erwin _hmm_ -ed again, and turned Levi around to face him. “You okay, darling?”

“Yeah,” Levi replied, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Levi was looking him straight in the eyes, and he couldn’t pin-point a single feature out of place on the man’s face. His brow was still as furrowed as ever; his perpetual dark circles, that never manage to go away even with proper sleep, not any darker than they were last night; his eyes un-puffy; expression calm and unperturbed.

 _Give him time_ , Hange’s voice said to him. _Don’t analyze him_.

“Okay,” Erwin answered, brushing his lips on the man’s forehead.

“Stop being so sappy, Erwin,” Levi was scowling now, “I’m fine,” he said once they parted and the man headed towards the kitchen.

“Hey, you want a sandwich?” Levi called to him.

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

They ate their sandwiches in peace.

Splayed out on the bed, with Erwin’s head in Levi’s lap and his laptop propped up on his knees (“ _You’re not that young anymore, Erwin, you’re going to hurt you back,”_ Levi had grumbled) he wrote a progress report for the company he worked for, while Levi slowly skimmed through the headlines on his phone.

An hour passed and then another, in delightful lethargy, until it was six-thirty, the sun had almost set outside and Levi decided they should probably get dressed. It didn’t take long. Levi just changed his shirt, opting for a more formal white dress-shirt instead, and kept his slacks on. It took Erwin even less, because he didn’t feel like changing out of his casual t-shirts and pants, so, he had only combed his hair into place, choosing to mask the messiness of his outfit with a black jacket of his. The choice of jacket was intentional; it was a jacket that always made Levi gawk at him wantonly, and without fail. Erwin loved hearing how well the jacket fit on him from Levi. Today though, Levi passed no looks and made no comments.

The drive to the restaurant proved mostly uneventful, filled with a strange, yet not uncomfortable, silence; neither of them feeling like they _had_ to add to the conversation if they had nothing to say, but at the same time, completely passing over the elephant in the room. The restaurant was surprisingly emptier than Erwin had expected it to be on a weekend, and it only took a minute or two before they were seated. The waiter came to take their order: Levi’s favorite chicken mushroom fettuccine alfredo and Erwin’s tenderloin steak with a side of mashed potatoes.

“Will you like to see the wine list, sir?” the waitress asked.

“Why don’t you choose for us?” Erwin replied, “The best thing you’ve got.”

“Alright, sir,” the waitress smiled, “Your order will be ready in about twenty minutes.”

When she had left, Levi shot Erwin a questioning look.

“What?” Erwin defended himself.

“Aren’t we being a bit extravagant today?”

“Levi, we get date night one day of the month. We can afford to be a little extravagant sometimes. Besides,” he added, his lips turning up in a smirk, “You know I just got paid. Consider this a pay-day treat.”

Levi rolled his eyes, and flashed Erwin one of his rare amused smiles that made him lean over the table and press a kiss to the corner of his husband’s lip.

“What the hell, Erwin?” Levi hissed.

“The restaurant is nearly empty, love.”

“Still,” Levi protested, weakly though, “Keep it in your pants, we’re still in public.”

 

The food arrived, and the two of them ate slowly, conversation filled with little random happenings they had encountered at work which they had forgotten to share with the other during the week. The meal was delicious and Levi’s raven black hair tucked behind one ear, even more so. Yet, neither of them dared breach _that_ subject, even now.

By eight-forty-five p.m., they had finished eating, choosing to take the half-empty bottle of white wine home with them. Erwin handed the credit card to the waitress, and removed his jacket from the chair.

“Wanna do something else before we head home, Lee?” Erwin asked.

“Nah,” Levi replied, standing up with Erwin and walking around the table to help him put on his jacket, “I’m kind of tired. Let’s just go home and watch a movie or something.”

“Our Netflix subscription expired last week.”

“Guess we’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way then.”

Erwin chuckled, “Torrent, you mean?”

“How else?”

“You won’t see me complaining, love,” Erwin straightened his jacket, and bent down to whisper in his ear, “You know how hot it is when you do something illegal.”

"God, _shut up_ ," Levi rolled his eyes, even though his cheeks were blushing red, and playfully hit Erwin in the arm, making the other man snicker and pull a loving arm around his protesting husband’s shoulders.

 

“Levi?”

Levi looked away from Erwin’s face and Erwin felt the man stiffen against him. His eyebrows went up as he took a look at the man who had just interrupted their conversation.

“Floch?” Levi asked.

“Oh man, what a coincidence to find you here,” the man said, extending a hand towards him. Levi's eyes narrowed and he shook it reluctantly, one of his arms still wrapped around Erwin’s middle.

“Who’s this, Levi?” Erwin asked, interrupting Levi’s train of thought.

“Oh,” Levi looked up, “This is…”

“Floch Forster,” the man replied, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Erwin shook hands with him. “How do you know Levi?”

“He’s a... junior at my department,” Levi replied, then looked back at the ground and shook his head exasperatedly, “I’m being rude, I’m sorry," he muttered through gritted teeth, "This is my husband, Erwin.”

The man gave Erwin a small smile. “What brings you two here, today? Celebrating?" he looked at Levi with a sinister glint in his eye, "Today was the decision date for that grant, right?”

“Don't play dumb, Floch," Levi replied, "you know exactly what _grant_ it was."

“I'm taking you didn't get it, then,” Floch said, "I'm sorry to hear that," though it was clear from the smile tugging at his lips that he really wasn’t.

“I did not,” Levi managed to grumble, "Congratulations to you though," he said, though his expression belied absolutely nothing about the murderous thoughts Erwin was sure he was having.

“Wait,” Erwin said, taken-aback, “You got the grant?” Erwin asked then.

“Yes. I did,” Floch replied.

"And when did you join Levi's department?"

"Uhh... well, let's see. I think in October? So a couple of months back." 

“Ah…” Erwin trailed off, sneaking a look at Levi, whose eyes were still downcast. "Well," Erwin turned back, "It really is an achievement, then. Floch, _"_  he said, voice bordering on menace, "Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

Levi huffed, the air between the two tense. 

“Well,” Levi interrupted, annoyed, “It has been really lovely talking to you, Floch. And as much as I wish I _didn't_ have to see your face tonight," he growled, eyes snapping up to Floch's face, "we don't always get what we want but I'm really glad you're leaving my department so I don't have to see you anymore."

Floch blinked back in surprise and chuckled. "Well, there's no need to be _uncivil_ , Levi..."

"Oh, you haven't seen uncivil yet," Levi seethed. 

"You have no reason to be jealous, Levi," Floch sighed condescendingly, "Just because I got one of the best grants in the country means nothing..." Floch looked down his nose at him, and scoffed. "Well, only that you're incapable at your job, but we all already knew that." 

Erwin gawked. "Excuse me?"

"You know what, you pompous _bitch_?" Levi snapped, approaching Floch as he stared angrily at him, "You may have gotten this one, but you know what's better right?"

Floch's eyes widened, "You could _never_ -"

"That's right," Levi nodded, "Watch me snag LIGO and blow you third-rate ass out the fucking water."

"In your dreams, _Ackerman_."

"Just you wait." Levi barked back. " _Forster_."

The tension in the room was palpable. Even the woman at the cash counter had begun to look at the arguing duo suspiciously. Her hand seemed to hover over the telephone when Levi grabbed Erwin's arm and turned around.

"Come on," he said, dragging his husband out the door, "We're leaving now."

 

They picked up their credit card from the counter and walked towards the car outside in silence, with Erwin still fumbling and confused over what he just witnessed, the mini-explosion Levi had just unleashed on this _Floch_ character that he had apparently never even heard of until now or known was in competition with Levi; all the while wondering how it was possible to so disastrously ruin such an unsuspecting Saturday.

 

* * *

 

The drive back to the apartment was equally quiet; Levi resting his head against the window in the passenger seat, eyes slowly drifting to sleep. Erwin kept checking on him every few minutes from the driver’s seat to assess his husband’s mood through his expression.

“Eyes on the road, dumbass,” Levi called to him, eyes still closed.

“Sorry.”

They parked the car in the parking lot of their apartment complex and before getting out, Levi extended his hand toward Erwin.

“What?” Erwin closed his palm with his. Levi rolled his eyes.

“The keys, idiot.”

“Oh,” Erwin said, removing his palm from his husband’s and fishing his pockets for the item. “Here you go,” he said, dropping the object in his palm with a rattle. Levi closed his fist around it and opened the door without another word.

They walked up the stairs slowly, stomachs still heavy with food and wine, and Levi unlocked the door.

It had barely been a minute after the door closed that Levi wrapped his arms around Erwin... and started crying.

“Oh, Levi,” Erwin tried to soothe him, enveloping his husband in a tight bear-hug, “It’s alright, darling.”

Levi was clutching the t-shirt Erwin wore, bunching up the fabric there, his soft tears wetting the material on the chest. Erwin wrapped his arms tighter around the man and picked him up, making Levi yelp in surprise, and enveloped the man’s legs around himself. It was a complicated maneuver, but Erwin managed to walk down the narrow hallway of their apartment and make his way to their bedroom.

Erwin petted Levi’s hair as he sat down on the edge of the bed, cooing _‘It’s okay, Levi,’_ s into his ear. Levi buried his head into Erwin’s shoulder and the sobs kept coming.

“I really, really wanted to get it, Erwin.”

“I know, love. I know you did. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay… shh…”

"I'm being stupid, I know," Levi sniffled, trying to suppress his tears, "no one cries over stupid fucking shit like this."

"Hey, come on, don't say that," Erwin chided, "You worked really hard on this, and it's perfectly okay for you to feel upset about this -"

"Don't you dare go full-therapist on me, Erwin Smith," Levi huffed out.

"I'm not trying to patronize you, sweetheart, I would never. I'm just saying it's okay. Okay?"

“It's not okay. I don’t wanna fucking _do_ this anymore.”

“You don’t really mean that, Levi... You love what you do. It’s just one grant, baby. You’ll get the next one, okay?”

“It’s not just _one_ grant, Erwin,” Levi spoke through broken sobs, “I really thought I would get it this time.”

Erwin's fingers paused in the man's hair. “‘ _This time_ ’, Levi?”

“I’m sorry… I'm sorry I didn’t tell you…” he said, “I applied a few months back too, but they passed me over for some newer graduate.”

“Oh Levi. Honey, I'm sorry,” Erwin tried to calm him, “Why didn’t you tell me, darling?”

“I thought,” another sob, “that you’d be disappointed.”

“Levi, Levi, Levi,” Erwin said, pressing soft kisses to the man’s hair, his ears, his cheeks, “You know that’s not true, baby. I love you.” Levi let out another broken sob and Erwin said it again, “I love you, Levi,” a kiss on his temple, a slow arching of his husband’s face towards his, “I love you,” a kiss to his eyebrows, and his closed eyes and the lashes wet with tears, “I love you…” a kiss to his open mouth, swallowing the sob. Erwin tasted salt.

 

* * *

 

Sometime during the night, they had discarded their clothes and had pressed their bodies up real close under the sheets. Erwin had whispered reassurances when they had needed to be heard, and had pressed kisses when they had needed to be felt. Levi’s body relaxed against him slowly, but by midnight, the room was utterly quiet except for the sounds of their heavy sleep-laden breaths.

And when Erwin woke up the next morning, shielding his eyes against the glare of sunlight from the window, that threatened to blind him, he had found Levi, his husband, wearing nothing but the black jacket from last night, sitting at the desk near their bed, legs propped up on the chair, hugging his knees, laptop opened on the table, already applying to other grants for next year.

Erwin smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> We all need an Erwin in our life. :'(


End file.
